Ugly Christmas sweater?

It’s been approximately fifteen hours and twenty-five minutes since the clock struck twelve and officially ended Christmas. That means everyone can start looking forward to what this holiday will be like one year from now, and I, for one, hope it looks drastically different.

Forget the fact that it was hot on almost every square inch of this earth (let the weather blogs complain about that); I’m particularly upset with the assortment of Christmas sweaters I saw this year. I thought the word “ugly” meant something. I wanted sweaters with rejected prints, you-can-hear-them-from-down-the-hall bells, and ribbons and bows stacked so high that people had to stretch their necks to see out the top. I wanted tacky, pattern-clashing, oh-my-word-what-is-that ugly sweaters; instead, I got nothing but disappointment with sleeves.

In a country that goes all out for everything from New Years’ Eve celebrations to college football games and even baby gender announcements, why did so few put effort into what they’d wear on what is arguably everyone’s favorite holiday? Why was a reindeer with glasses more common than a bright green light-up sweater with tinsel and little teddy bears sewn on?

A sweater is so much more fun than lights on a house; you can go all out without even having to get out a ladder, but so many more chose the former. Sure everyone has a so-called “ugly” sweater to wear when the occasion demands it, but too many of them are tame cop-outs. Too many of them could be worn on your average Tuesday as opposed to being solely reserved for the late-night office Christmas party that you (and hopefully your boss) won’t remember all the details of.

What’s wrong with fully embracing a tradition and going out on a limb? You’d get tons of compliments for your creativity, you’d have an instant conversation starter, and people would automatically see your die-hard Christmas spirit. It’s a win-win-win.

Ugly Christmas sweaters matter and are a fundamental part of this holiday. Sooooo…I’m calling on you, America, to step up your game, because this is definitely NOT a game. Buy a sweater, some Elmer’s glue, and as many craft supplies as your inner child can handle, because you’ve got exactly 364 days left to get something good for next year.

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